It’s amazing how much you think when washing the dishes, normally I cuss in my head and try to finish them off as quick as I can. But on this particular day, things were different and I realised (8 months into the year) what I wanted my new year’s resolution to be.
All this year I have been trying to figure out who I am, and I still am but as I was washing the dishes I realised I was lacking self-love. I need to know how to fully love myself because that is the only way I can truly be happy and achieve what I want to in my life. I also realised that if I don’t know how to love myself, how in the hell can I love other people?
“To love yourself is to accept and appreciate ourselves without conditions”
How fucking profound is that! To love yourself without conditions, to start loving yourself NOW! There are so many sites that give you tips and advice on how to love yourself and some of them were really interesting to read. I realised that each and every one of us is going to have a different journey to achieve self-love and I thought it would be cool to share mine with you guys so without further a do I decided to start my journey with forgiveness…
Forgiveness – Such a complex thing, when we are hurt we expect the person who hurt us to say sorry and once they do we forgive them. They say that forgiveness is not for the one who hurt you, it’s for you, that once you forgive someone you gain freedom from the negative emotions that, that hurt gave you in the first place. Sometimes you even learn to forgive people who are not sorry for the hurt they have done to you, which is a skill that will benefit you till the day you die.
So we have established that others will hurt us and we need to forgive them but what do we do when WE have hurt OURSELVES?
How can we learn to love ourselves if we can’t forgive ourselves in order to receive that love and to give that love? (I swear this is all making sense in my head!)
What I am trying to say is….there are some things, some mistakes that I have made that I still can’t believe I did and I still feel some guilt over those things. I still hate myself a bit for doing those things and even though I have tried my best to make amends with some situations and I have been forgiven…the gag is I haven’t forgiven myself properly for those actions.
You can’t grow without making some mistakes and unfortunately, some mistakes can haunt you and it’s important that you fully let go of them and forgive yourself in order to move on, embrace your mistakes, learn from them and do better.
You would think that loving yourself is easy which it is for some, but if you’re like me, it’s a bit harder and it is easier to love others first than yourself. As I said earlier there are so many tips and advice on the internet to try but one particular one stood out the most for me:
Have the will to SURRENDER
This spoke to me because I have a massive issue with changes that I have not prepared for or agreed to and I can really cling on to people/situations I should really let go off. It always takes me a while to realise that whatever I have lost, I have lost for the better. With learning to forgive myself and accepting change I know that I will be on the right path to loving myself, I will be a much happier person.
I would love to document this journey for all to read so part two will be out as soon as I get my shit together!